You know you're an EMT when..
1) you believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
2) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.
3) you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.
4) you believe that saying "it can't get any worse" causes it to get worse just
to show you it can.
5) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
6) you've heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring,and twelve earrings say
"I'm afraid of needles".
7) you've placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
8) your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
9) you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
10) you believe that not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.
11) your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because
you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
12) you don't get excited about blood, unless it's your own.
13) you've sworn to have "do not resuscitate" tattooed on your chest. Soon.
14) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.
15) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
16) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
17) you believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.
18) you believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis.
19) you believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
20) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase
"Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?
21) you have wanted to write a book entitled "Suicide: getting it right the first time."
22) you have had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no
idea how that got stuck in there."
23) you read the obituaries for patient updates.
Send in your additions to the list!
|
